Patrik Raitanen: "How modelling changed my perspective on football"

Finnish defender Patrik Raitanen plays for IFK Mariehamm. The former Liverpool academy player balances his football career with professional modelling work. In 2020 he experienced negative treatment as a player due to his appearance, which impacted his mental well-being.

By Patrik Raitanen

Around five years ago I found myself on the floor of the dressing room, hysterically crying, struggling for breath and unable to move. It was the first time I acknowledged I was having a panic attack. I thought it was the end of my football journey.

From the age of 16 I was part of the Liverpool youth programme and, as a player, I benefitted from the routine and the habits they drill into you. I took it all on board, committing myself to football in every aspect of my life and I was determined to be as professional as I could be.

However, those years are also important in developing yourself as a person, and I let that aspect slip. Perhaps it was because I was living abroad and didn’t have the background noise that most of us have growing up – school friends, family. Everything I did revolved around football: what I ate, when I slept, who I spoke to. It got to the point where it had consumed my whole identity.

When I tore my ACL, damaged my meniscus and spent almost a year recovering, I really started to question it. I was still a footballer, I still went to training every day and was in the dressing room with my team-mates, but when someone asked me what I had going on, I didn’t really have anything to tell them.

With no other players with long-term injuries that season, I spent a lot of time alone focusing on my rehab. I started to think more about how I had been defining myself over the past few years and about the other aspects of my personality that I hadn’t yet explored. 

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FIFPRO: https://fifpro.org/en/supporting-players/development-beyond-football/education-and-development/patrik-raitanen-how-modelling-changed-my-perspective-on-football